Renezmai Rude 

Family is all you for as my mother used to say… Well when we were still on speaking terms. In high school I had a lot if problems with my adoptive parents, when I turned 18 I moved out as quick as I could. You may be asking how this relates to you, well because my boyfriend was one reason we didn’t get along. I never really told them about him so when they could have met them they knew that I cared more about him then them and this made them dislike him before he even said hello. It is important to note that a lot had happened before my boyfriend to make my problems and I have problems, we couldn’t stand each other so loving him more came naturally to me. I have first hand experience in the family vs significant other department. It happens a lot more often to those who have over bearing parents as I did and less so when you have more relaxed parents as my boyfriend does. 

It is important to handle this situation delicately as you do not want to tear a hole in either relationship, you really just want to get down to the bottom of it and squash the problem at its source. Think about the situation, who seems to be the main problem and who is creating the problem? Does your girl make disrespectful comments to or around your family, does your family think that she is not good enough for you or cause other problems. Find the problem and try to think of how you can fix it. Sit down with the person causing the problem and ask them why they are acting the way that they are. Listen closely to their response, talk with them about it and try to find out the deeper issue that is occurring. Maybe your mom thinks that you would be better with someone else, maybe your girl thinks your family hates her for not being perfect. After you have talked with them discuss the situation with them together so that you all can get the situation handled and it won’t come back again in the future. 

In the end you may wind up deciding your situation with your girlfriend might not work out, or that your girlfriend and family should never spend more than 15 minutes in the same room. Luckily my boyfriend and I are sill together and happy, for others that may not be the result if you choose her over your family so be careful in that situation. The most important thing you can do for the situation you are in is to try, try to help them to get along and try to solve the problem. If they can’t see that they are both important to you maybe you need to explain that to them and let them know how much them fighting hurts you as well.