In a previous article, I talked about how to know if your girl is ready for marriage and seeing as some of us, *cough cough* especially men are not the best judges of when to ask the question, I thought it would be an excellent idea to discuss how to know if you are ready to get married yourself. Marriage is a huge commitment and while in recent years it has become less so, what with all the divorces, you still need to go into the situation expecting and trying to make it last forever. Marriage is no easy task.
The first thing to consider when thinking about whether you are ready or not is to think about the rest of your life. Do you see her in it? If your future plans do not have her in them, you may want to reconsider your relationship. She should be a major part of your life plan. Do you see yourself settling down with her realistically, or is it just a far off dream? Many people get married because it is the ‘next step’ in the relationship, not because they love each other, can’t imagine their lives without each other, or are actually ready for marriage. So really consider why you want to get married. Is it because you think it is about time and she’s the woman you’re with at the moment or because of something deeper?
Next you need to consider how long the two of you have been together. This is not a fairy tale, very rarely do people who get married within a year of dating actually stay married. You should have a well developed and healthy relationship before getting married. This is extremely important because people get wrapped up in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, which is what happens in the beginning of a relationship where everything is new, wonderful and you have the extraordinary feeling of being in love. Do not be fooled though. This feeling fades over time and often times people fall out of love once it has faded. You do not want to be married and suddenly realize that the person you are married to isn’t really as great as you thought.
Are you trying to make her happy? As the old saying goes ‘happy wife, happy life’, right? Wrong. If you are thinking about marriage just to make her happy because she has been hinting at it, stop right there. Never, under any circumstances, do this if you are not 100% sure that you want to marry this girl. Yes she may be ready, but are you?
The final thing to consider is where you are at in your life. This is a biggie. Can you handle the commitment of marriage yet? Do you want to be in a better place before bringing it into your situation? It is important to many people that they are in a good place in their career and personal life before they jump into marriage. Think about whether you are one of these people, and make sure this is where you want to be as an individual before getting married.
When in doubt, talk to her. If you decide that you are not ready for marriage, even though she has been dropping hints to you about it, she will likely understand and appreciate your honesty.