By: Renezmai Rude
I had decided to go out with friends drinking one night, seeing as I have always been with my boyfriend it wasn’t to meet new people or anything, I just wanted to spend time with my girls. As always when we go out though we get approached by an assortment of men, some ranging from sweet and talkative to sweaty and obnoxious.
There was one particular man who stood out as the worst we had met all night. He was a decent looking man but acted like a desperate child demanding his mothers attention “hey, hey look at me, look at how cool I am” it was extremely annoying. He had approached my friend Deelia who is by far the nicest one of our bunch. She had politely told him she wasn’t interested multiple times, and after getting a little handsy with her he moved from one to another one of my friends and slowly tried to work his way through our little group seeing if any of us had been interested. We weren’t. When he reached me I was dancing with my friend Sarah I flashed him my boyfriends ring that I wear on my ring finger. To everyone who sees it this ring looks like a wedding band but even after seeing this he persisted in trying to buy me drinks and touch me.
This man was the worst guy I have ever been approached by, so in hopes that a guy will read this and prevent himself from being that guy here is a list of 8 things men do when approaching women that make them lose interest.
1. Act nervous
When a man doesn’t have any confidence in himself it is a huge turn off for women. We pick up on it in a second, so acting nervous is a no go. You’ll probably still be nervous, but stand up tall and portray that perfect confidence
2. Running out of things to say
When you run out if things to say and sit in uncomfortable silence even for a moment, the woman starts losing interest. You can only make one first impression, so make sure it’s filled with wit and charisma and not uncomfortable silence.
3. Not making eye contact
When making conversation be sure that you are also making eye contact- staring off into space makes the other person feel as if you are not interested or don’t care. Be sure to make eye contact and be sure your body is facing her, and that your body is as well, that way she knows you’re interested and focused on her.
4. Complimenting too much
I once listened to a guy ramble on about how beautiful and amazing I looked. It was really all he had to say and it was one of the most uncomfortable situations I have ever been in. Compliments are great, but make sure it’s sincere and not too much. You want her to feel good and know you are interested, not uncomfortable and thinking you are desperate.
5. Have a side conversation
When a man has a side conversation when approaching a woman it’s an instant signifier that he’s not really that interested in her. If he’s in a conversation about where him and his friends are going next when buying her a drink, it is a major turn off. She needs to be the center of your focus when you first meet her. You can, of course, say something really quick to your friends, but having a full conversation makes her feel as if she is a third wheel in your little “bromance”.
6. Uses a pick up line
This is the perfect example of when a boy approaches a woman. A pickup like or even some smooth line is not attractive; it makes you seem petty and childish. The best way to approach a woman is to go up and introduce yourself- not of that “fell from heaven” B.S..
7. Talks too much about himself
We get it, you’re an amazing guy, but can we talk about something else now? Talking just about yourself makes you seem conceited and a little desperate for attention. Talking too much about oneself is boring and uncomfortable for the woman.
8. Talk too much in general
Between you and me, it’s best to keep her talking more than you- we women love a man who can just listen. So when we just sit and listen to you talk for 25 minutes about all your wonderful accomplishments, it makes us lose interest. Ask us questions, see what we have to say. You don’t have to sit down and shut up- just don’t make it a speech about what an amazing guy you are; save that for your dating profile